(This song was written in 1988 during the final evening of a
conference on universal algebra and lattice theory held at the
Mathematisches Forschungsinstitut in Oberwolfach in the Black
Forest in Germany.)

Now George tells us jokes and he talks rather slow
And I'm in the front row with nowhere to go
So at the next conference I'll show what I know
I'll sit at the back and sleep right through the show.

Oberwolfach, Oberwolfach once more
Give me a proof and I'll go through the roof
At Oberwolfach once more.

There's George from the first verse but then there's one more
And we have to listen when he takes the floor
But with glueings and pastings God knows what's in store
To take it all in makes my poor old head sore.

Of algebras partial I'm tiring fast
My comprehension may simply not last
Relations and functions are all in the cast
I wish partial algebras were in the past.

Directoids and joinoids, what are all those things?
I remember when algebra was about rings.
And then there's this Aussie that bloody well sings
And I have to go back when the lecture bell rings.

Tame congruence theory and commutators galore
Where's Ralph McKenzie to tell us some more?
How will we know if there is a flaw
Without Ralph to be here and lay down the law?

We get up at 8 and we read the new signs.
At 2 it is time for a walk in the pines.
At 1 in the morning we sample the wines.
At 8 the next day its back into the mines.

Whatever the concept that Rudolf makes clear
Will be well-connected---there's nothing to fear.
With context selected, the picture's projected
The lattice gets status, so let out a cheer!

Mein Deutsch ist sehr schlecht und viel Fehler I make
But etwas das I wei\ss, Kuchen ist cake.
Mit Kaffee or Tee it's not hard to take
Und nachher I versuch more theorems to make.

For every lattice a group should exist.
The proof would be easier if I weren't half pissed.
But just when I feel like I'm getting the gist,
It seems nonetheless that it's all in a twist.

Of avoidable words not much I can say
For my letters, each one, I surely must pay
It's very unclear what laws they obey
Though Tardo\v s may tell me by the end of the day.

Now tell me the theorems that once you have seen,
Projected upon the overhead screen.
With clones that are maximal, my agony's actual
But let us now join in our primal scream.

The tenth time we have this fine conference here
The pauses are longer---year after year
But Tamas Schmidt was every time here
So we can just guess how much he drank beer.

The problems we hear far too late in the week
We've only one day their solutions to seek,
Of type 0 algebras give me a peek.
To find a tame congruence seems oh so chic!

When Ivo came in he was chasing some clones
He's done it so long, it's got into his bones
He's got those at the top but he simply won't stop
He's aiming to fill more than $\aleph_{0}$ tomes.

From all round the world the participants came
Each one in the book gladly wrote his/her name
But the abstract was harder, no-one was game
Till $P^{3}$ retorted with threats us to maim.

Eva, Hilda, and MK at last set the tone
Of beauty and grace---the exception was Stone.
Embedding legalities required dualities
Which Brian and Hilary found on their own.

A theorem was proved on Friday night
The "empty'' conjecture was certainly right.
A proof by cases created red faces
And at the end all the provers were tight.

P. Pudlak has told us that proofs can be long
Though rewriting rules are ever so strong.
Peano arithmetic can be quite a bag of tricks.
In doubt, just consider the length of this song.

Who is this guy our speakers missed most,
Saying "dually, symmetrically'' at no extra cost?
Of their hospitality they most like to boast
Next time Ervin {\it et al.} will be our hosts.

Now Bill has a zipper that's really a ripper
Equational lattices make him feel hipper.
But Gabor divulges, that Bill's zipper bulges
So next we expect there will be a Lampe nipper.

Varieties decidable are really quite $S\otimes A\otimes D$
Without Ralph and Matt they would drive us quite mad.
Unary, Discriminator, Rings the terminator
It's all so confusing perhaps we've been had.

Mike Albert loves monoids, Oh equations of bliss
Of Ehrenfeucht's Conjecture, not one case he'd miss
Each infinite system has some finite list
But with Susan at home, is this lover's tryst.

Morning is coming and we can still sing.
You can lift your glass, but can you still think?
Can all your ideals make just one more ring?
Well, all of our glasses can use one more drink!